After my miscarriage, I found reassurance in a most unexpected place – the biology of momma bears.
Bears have miscarriages too.
Understanding the reasoning behind their miscarriages exemplifies how intelligent all life is, including our human bodies.
As most people know, bears hibernate. You may also be aware that bears give birth during hibernation. Have you seen National Geographic photos or footage of momma bear emerging in Spring from her den with cubs?
What you may not realize is that female bears are technically pregnant many months before hibernation and then their bodies hit the pause button on fetal development – a few things must align if they will carry their babies to term.
Take grizzly bears for example: they mate in May and June – sperm meets egg and an embryo implants into the uterine wall.
Here is the interesting thing, the embryo(s) will lie dormant until her body knows that she has enough energy stores to sustain not only her survival but also the survival of her cubs.
When she goes into hibernation her body will do an assessment. If things are sufficient then the embryo(s) start developing. If she does not have enough energy stored (fat), she will reabsorb the embryo(s) and there will be no cubs.
Her body is intelligent.
Your body is intelligent.
Biology may not always align with our wants, show fairness among all people or necessarily make sense to us at any given moment. However, I truly believe our biology is doing the best at all times to support us, and support life. Just like it takes care of momma bear.
I often hear women who have had a miscarriage say:
“My body failed me when I needed it most”.
We can’t always see the whole picture – momma bears don’t know that their bodies had a miscarriage to save them from starvation.
This insight offers me trust. I trust that my body did not fail me when I had my miscarriage. I rather choose to believe that it was making a choice on my behalf that was in my best interest. It’s aware of things that I am not.
To be clear, this does not negate my grief or other feelings. It is simply a kinder, more reassuring and gentler way to see the world.
It was Albert Einstein who said: “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”
I believe that the world is in support of me, not against me.
There is now an online resource available to support women after their miscarriage.
Click the image below to learn more: