Are you hiding, repressing, or ignoring something in your life?
Chances are, you are not doing a very good job of keeping it tucked away. At least, not as good as you think.
If I’m wrong, and you have managed to create a successful façade, it will not last for long.
At some point, your secrets will either drag you down or break free, making a dramatic mess, as a way of asking for attention and healing.
Everything shows up in the physical world.
Your beliefs and thoughts get imprinted into your body, facial expressions, attitude, interactions, habits and more.
Here are some examples.
IN THE PHYSICAL BODY:
For a long time, I thought I was unattractive and unlovable.
Looking back, I can clearly see that I made a close relationship with food to compensate for the love I wasn’t allowing myself to attract. I cyclically gained and lost large amounts of weight in my late teens and early twenties. Society deems excess weight as unattractive, so it was easier to ‘fit the bill’ than face those beliefs. I had instant satisfaction in every flavorful bite, all while getting to hide behind a protective layer of fat.
BREAKING FREE (THE DRAMATIC MESS):
I once dated someone who, unbeknown to me, was an alcoholic.
He hid his swigs of liquor and constant buzz like a ventriloquist does their voice. Until, one day, it all blew up in his face. The emotions he was drowning in booze, bubbled to the surface during an evening social, and expressed themselves in an angry outburst. It was a traumatic experience for him. The recovery was long and painful.
IN YOUR HABITS:
I was recently at a campfire where a man was somewhat aggressively poking the already well-burning logs with a stick. In a trance like state, he seemed oblivious to the fact that he was creating large flankers that were flying in the direction of others.
I causally let him know what was happening and he seemed genuinely shocked by his own lack of awareness.
The following week, I was sitting next to this same man around the same fire pit. He had: the stick. Before long, I noticed his familiar trance and aggressive stoking. As before, flankers flew about.
I said to him:
“I’ve noticed that men, more than women, like to poke things with sticks. I believe there is a sexual correlation to this, referring to the obvious, which is that men poke with their cocks. This is twice now that you have been in a trance, somewhat aggressively poking ‘fire’ to create ‘sparks’.”
He responded with complete candor:
“You know, I think there is something to that. I actually haven’t had sex in a long time – it’s been 9 months. That’s a long time, and it’s having an effect on me. I need to do something about this soon as I can’t go much longer.”
We are all very transparent.
I wasn’t able to hide my beliefs about being unlovable, my ex wasn’t able to hide his unresolved issues or alcoholism, and the campfire man wasn’t able to hide his longing for sex.
We can try to avoid things. However, true joy, vibrant living, radiant energy, healthy habits, unlimited potential, and peace, come from facing life straight on.
Deal with your shit and your life will change – physically, romantically, emotionally, financially, and more.
Here are some questions to get you identifying where best to place your efforts and start moving through the areas where you are stuck or avoiding.
Answer the following:
- In which areas of my life am I thriving? (Have you celebrated these successes? If not, schedule when, how and where you plan on doing that!)
- Which areas of my life could use improvement?
- Where in my life am I avoiding, hiding, or ignoring? How is this showing up in my life?
- What area(s), if addressed, will have the greatest impact on other areas of my life or my life as a whole?
- What 3 action items (get creative: calls, appointments, intention setting, listing, scheduling, dates, research, conversations, vision boards, reading, etc…) can I put into place right away that will move me towards where I want to go?
- Commit to your action items by setting a place, time, and location to do them.
PS: Leave a reply below to let us know what you discovered or created for yourself by answering these questions.
Are you looking to discover clarity around, and a deeper connection with, your own sexuality? Are you eager to move forward in an area which feels dormant or stuck? I support people to move through these and other challenges with 1-to-1 Sexual Empowerment Coaching. Learn more and have an experience by booking your free initial consultation.