North America has a strange association with nudity.
In this culture, nudity has become intrinsically linked with sexuality, creating and contributing to a cascade of individual and societal problems.
I spoke recently with a German woman who moved to Canada as an adult and raised her family here.
She was shocked when her Canadian neighbor approached her to let her know it was unacceptable for her 3-year-old child to run naked in her own backyard.
For this German native, this was a very surprising request. It was difficult for her to understand what the issue was; it was normal for her or her 15-year-old son to be nude about her home. She realized the two countries approached sexuality very differently. When outside the comforts of closed doors, she chose to conform to the societal rules of Canada – she clothed her 3-year-old child.
Her German upbringing provided her with a more open view of nudity. She was able to interact with nudity with ease, contentment, and a sense of normalcy.
Before I continue, of course, nudity also plays an important role in one’s sense of sexuality and sex. However, when we honor that both can exist, we create room for a shift into a more deep, compassionate, and loving understanding and relationship with sexuality and ourselves.
When we associate the two as an absolute (nudity = sexuality), we create an undercurrent of cultural belief systems that guide how we think, interact, and treat others.
This belief system has helped to create a culture where it is acceptable for a woman to wear a cleavage enhancing top, but unacceptable to breastfeed publicly.
This belief system biases our judicial system when you hear a defense lawyer or judge ask a victim “What were you wearing the night of the attack?”
This belief system fosters the objectifying of bodies in mainstream media allowing companies to capitalize on nudity to help sell products.
Step into the mindset for a moment that nudity can exist without sexuality and that sexuality can exist without nudity.
How does that shift your views? What does sexuality mean to you?
Separating the two, if just for a moment, may remove a filter you may have been seeing the world through and not even realizing it.
Sexuality is a part of your essence as a human being. Sexuality is interwoven into every aspect of life. It is part of our identity. Even if you consider yourself asexual, your relationship with that part of you informs how you interact with the world.
Stepping into confidence around my relationship with my own sexuality, releasing shame about who I am, and getting clear on how I want to show up in relationships, bed, business, and in life, are changing how I interact with the whole world.
It is also changing how the world interacts with me.
Sexual energy is life force energy. It is the energy that created you. It is the energy that creates ideas and inspiration. It is the energy that nourishes you with orgasmic euphoria.
When we hyper sexualize nudity, we diminish the reality that there is so much more complexity involved. When we simplify and downgrade this complexity, we create a confused society that doesn’t know how to interact with it; doesn’t know how to recognize it in themselves and others.
Imagine that we lived in a society where:
It is acceptable for a woman to wear a cleavage enhancing top and also to breastfeed publicly.
Our judicial system asks the assailant why they thought it was appropriate to attack someone and include therapy and healing as part of their sentencing.
Companies used their values and actual products to sell, because sexually empowered people could see through the ‘selling sex’ tactics, demanding more from the companies they purchase from.
Sexuality is so much more than exposed skin, the physical form, or what we do or do not wear. Once we understand that sexuality is sourced within our authenticity, then we can shine it like a lightening beam out into the world.
Open your eyes to more, and you will want and crave someone who is sexy because of who they are, what they believe in, and yes, how they show up and present themselves to the world – which may or may not include very much clothes.
Are you looking to discover clarity around, and a deeper connection with, your own sexuality? Are you eager to move forward in an area which feels dormant? I support people to move through these and other challenges with 1-to-1 Sexual Empowerment Coaching.